Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Why Tornado People F#$king Suck and This Has Nothing to Do With Actual Tornadoes

I'm not gonna do a long post because I don't want to waste any more energy but I'm sort of doing this because saying it will make me feel better and I really did have this light bulb sort of moment on the way home from this awesome walk I took with some friends and I was like, I gotta write this down. Because I want to remember this image for the next time I need a reminder not to bang my head against the wall, and also someone else might read this and be like oh, that's right, remember what Jen said that one time? I think I will NOT bang my head against a wall this time.

So some people are like tornadoes. Picture a tornado. It's awful and it's destructive and it wreaks havoc. Now trying to have a conversation with someone who is the living embodiment of a tornado. It would basically be like taking a two-by-four and flinging into a tornado. Either that sucker is going to fly away and land in Oz, or there is a good chance it is going to come right back at you and smack you in the face with all of the strength of a tornado.

Let's have some visual aids, shall we?

photo credit: wreg.com

See all that stuff flying around? Those are your words not getting anywhere near where you want them to be. You want them to be all meaningful and stuff and get all up into the brain of the person to whom you're speaking because you're like dang, this is some good important stuff I'm trying to lay on you right now. But they are this tornado. And their brains pretty much look like this on the inside. Like here is what your brain looks like:

photo credit: www.willamette.edu

Except of course your brain is not all colorful like that but it would be hella cool if it were. Anyway, your brain looks like that. And you're all like, being logical, and connecting the dots, and putting words together in a way you make sense, and then the words come out of your mouth, and the tornado person has this ridiculous reaction no matter how you say what you say, because again, their brain looks like this:

 photo credit: www.xarj.net

And when you get done talking to them, you feel like this:

So try not to let them get you to that point. Which is easier said than done. And fortunately, at least in my experience, there are very few people like this. Or, at least I've been ridiculously lucky and I only have one of these in my life with whom I have to deal on a regular basis. But they're out there, and this is my tornado warning for the next time you come upon them. Try not to get bent like like this damn tower. Because you're okay, and they are stuck in the middle of a tornado, which really sucks for them.