Friday, March 29, 2013


Warning: This post is about crappy stuff so I use a lot of bad words. I apologize in advance for my salty sailor mouthnanigans.

March has been a bunch of ugh.

Well, Februrary had some ugh, too.

January, a little bit.

That's going back far enough in the annals of ugh.

Sometimes there is not a better word to use to describe a general state of being or a general condition of current events. Ugh.

I just looked up a definition and it is supposed to be an expression used to convey disgust or horror. It's not like that for me. It's just like, come on. Period, no explanation mark at this point because I'm too tired but sometimes an explanation mark is warranted. Come the fuck on. Enough already with one thing after another.

I've been having this thing going on in my personal life that I... I think I can only describe it as the slowest ripping off of the Band-Aid in human history, heartbreak-ararily. There's no other way to put it. Do I wish I'd known two months ago to rip that motherfucker off and let the scabbing begin? Oh fuck yes, I really really really really really really do. We live, we learn, we have faith in and invest in people who don't deserve the faith or investment. So we learn from this shit, we grow, and so on and so forth. So I'm not at that "growth" part yet, I'm still totally on that scab part. And I keep looking at it. I mean, I was totally picking at it for a while, because I mean, this is so disgusting, but who among us can resist the urge to pick a little? Okay, the ones who raised their hands on that are also the same ones who go on a diet and stick to it or who don't drunk text their exes and they probably do their homework as soon as they get it instead of waiting until the last minute. And no zit popping, either. And to those folks I say, WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! No, you guys with some self-control and discipline are awesome and I hope to be like you a little bit when I grow up.

A friend I loved very much who was an extremely special part of my life passed away in February. And it was cancer and that wasn't supposed to happen. Because she was going to beat it. And my dad died from cancer four months before she did so you know, it really wasn't supposed to happen now. Not to me and to my mom who also loved this person, too, when we are still dealing with losing dad. What a bunch of fucking bullshit cancer is. Fuck cancer.

I find myself getting so sad and pissed off still that my dad is not here. That's all I can say about that right now without crying like a crybaby beyotch. If you've been there I don't have to tell you. It sucks ass.

My last ugh is having to deal with a couple few people who are just... annoying. In the scheme of things, no big deal. But on top of everything, I would like to tell them to shut the fuck up and fuck off and that goes for the horse they rode in as well. Which makes me sound mean about horses. But they are so cute and they have those big eyes so I would never be mean to them for real. But you know what I mean. People with whom you have to deal and you're just, fuck this person and shut the fuck up. Luckily, the majority of that issue is temporary so yay. I just thought I'd throw in that final ugh.

Oh, and hormones. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I just needed to get this out. If you've been dealing with a bunch of ugh hey! You're hella not alone. We're riding this ugh ship together!

Even in a post about ugh I have to say that I have way more good stuff than bad stuff in my life and for that, I'm ridiculously grateful. You guys already know because I have said it before. Best kid, mom, friends in the entire world. When you start there, you're pretty okay. Which I am, pretty okay. And going to get okay-er day by day.

Thanks for listening.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Ten Things I Loved In February (AKA Yet Another Post Idea I Copy From Tami)

Because it's what I do, I read my friend Tami's blog post yesterday, and I was like, this is a cool post, let me just totally COPY HER RIGHT NOW. I think in the blogging world we call it "being inspired" as opposed to "ripping off." It sounds ever so much more civilized. So Tams, as always, thanks for the inspiration.

Here is some stuff I was totally digging in Februrary:

Spotify: Because otherwise I'm not sure I would keep up with current music. It's so awesome to be like, "Oh hey, I like that one song, that 'Ho Hey' song, by the Lumineers, it's the shit!" And then you go to Spotify and listen to the whole album. Which is also the shit. So I have been digging them, Bruno Mars, P!nk, and Mumford and Sons, those people have been my main jams this month. Did you see Bruno Mars on the Grammys? He sang with Sting and KILLED IT. He's so adorable I can hardly stand it.

Killed it. 
Photo credit: vH1

Starting another journey to shed extra el-bees: So I have done this about fifty billion times. I know. But this time feels different because my mom is on the journey WITH me. And I want to inspire her. She is the very best mom in the world and the only one I'm gonna get and I want nothing more than the both of us to be HEALTHIER. So that we can be even older and crotchier together than we already are. Also, as I've always known I should do, I have three little goals set: X number of pounds by a trip to Pebble Beach in April, another X by my birthday in June, and another X by my 25-year high school reunion (gasp) in July. As always, and are HUGE helps. Love, love, and love some more. And some more. You can follow me on at IGotThis42. I haven't decided if when I turn 43 in June if I'll change my user name...

Taking a little road trip with my mom and the kid: They are my most favorite people in the world. We are three generations of silliness and nuttiness and we love each other a whole lot. I'm so lucky to have these two. So a little two night slumber part with them anywhere is always going to be a good time. I told mom if she lived with me it could be like this all the time and I think she looked at me like I'd lost my fucking mind.

Seeing some good friends and playing bocce for the first time: Yep, had a Saturday off work and lost my bocce virginity with some of my best besties at the new lovely fabulous crazy awesome house of one of those best besties. So much fun. Food, beer (we even sampled a chocolate, peanut butter, and banana ale, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?), bocce, and beyotches. It does not get much better than that. I'm as terrible at bocce as I am at bowling or anything else that would involve rolling a ball. That sounded dirty.

Voodoo Doughnut Chocolate, Peanut Butter, and Banana Ale. It was pretty tasty.

Reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz on the Kindle with the baby: Loved this book as a kid, I was probably older than she was when I read it, and I'm so glad she is enjoying it. We have been seeing trailer for Oz the Great and Powerful and decided we would go see it when we came out, so I was like, we should read this so you know the source material. Except I'm sure I didn't use the phrase "source material," or maybe I did because I'm a dork. We're almost done and will be before the movie opens, so that is cool. I mentioned this on my Facebook page, too, but I did not remember some of the gory parts, like the Tin Woodman cutting off all his body parts or beheading all the wolves the Wicked Witch sent after him or the Scarecrow killing all the crows that she sent their way. The kid doesn't seem to mind and wolves are like her favorite animal right now. I explained they were bad guy wolves because they worked for the witch and she seemed cool with it. 

The book I had as a kid looked exactly like this, except it was paperback
Photo credit:

Yes, Chef, A Memoir, by Marcus Samuelsson: This is what I'm reading on the Kindle right now and I'm digging it. And yes, I have a bunch of other open books on that thing but I might actually read this in a timely manner since I'm really enjoying it. And I thought I should throw in something I'm reading so I could look smarter.

Photo credit:

Scramble With Friends: Slightly addicted. I used to play Scramble on Facebook but then they got rid of it and said, "Screw you, Jen, you can only play if you have a fancy phone." Which I will not have until March 21st (don't even get me started on that). Anyway, my mom has loaned me her Kindle Fire so now I can play with these "apps" all you cool people have been talking about. I even played Angry Birds for the first time ever. But yes, that Scramble With Friends? That's some good shit right there. Helps keep the noggin sharp, too.

Gorton's Skillet Crisp Tilapia: I am l a z y. If you know me at all or read this blog at all you already know this. And that like, I never go to the grocery store, only to Trader Joe's and Target. I love fish, love it a lot. But I never want to buy it and cook it and worry about bones and junk, plus I'm only ever cooking for myself since there is a SHIT TON of stuff my kid swears she will try when she is "8 or 9." And I know, it's not that hard, and it's not like I haven't cooked fish or won't again sometime, but I'm just saying, I'm intimidated by it. So I found these at Target for $3.99 for a box of 5. You can cook them in the pan or in the oven for like 21 minutes and THEY ARE SO GOOD. Delicious. The other night I made myself a grown-up dinner with one of these and mashed potatoes (yes, instant, but they are made from real potatoes, mostly), and some spinach. And last night I made fish tacos. Really, really, really, really tasty. Low-investment/high-reward, baby. I'm all about it.

Photo credit:

Competition cooking shows: Can't get enough of them. This month we had the finale of one of my favorite Top Chef seasons, a Chopped Tournament of Champions, the last episode of Rachael Vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off, and the beginning of Worst Cooks in America. I don't even like Rachael or Guy very much, but I sure love watching some D-list celebrities cook. And I fell in love with Tori Spelling's husband, Dean (!!), and I enjoyed Johnny Weir a bunch. Super fun. Worst Cooks will make you feel like a rock star in the kitchen, plus it is just fun. Chopped is always good and I have a fat chef crush on the Tournament of Champions winner. He has a ponytail and an English accent, hello. And Top Chef? If you love food and don't watch it the only thing I can say is, "Why?" It's the best, period, the end. So good.

Jun Tanaka, Chopped Champions winner

The Oscars and my annual Oscar party with Mom: Such a tradition to watch the Oscars with my Mom. We have pretty much watched all of them together since as long as I can remember, with few exceptions. There was the Driving Miss Daisy year where I had a test at San Francisco State and I had to record them on my VCR and I rushed home and stayed up and watched them even though I had to go to work the next day because I didn't want to know anything about who won before I'd watched (what a tweak). Anyway, this year the kid actually watched with us (mostly) and marked a ballot. She got 12 right, Mom got 11, and I got 10 (what a loser). I was so happy that Argo won. I was totally pulling for it even though I haven't seen it but everyone says it is fabulous and I want to see it (but I'm pretty sure I saw nothing but cartoons last year [that Wreck-It Ralph lost to Brave was totally cartoondiculous] with the exception maybe of Ted, which was not nominated for best picture, but it was hella funny), and also George Clooney was one of the producers and we know how I feel about that guy. Yum.

The Argo producers with JACK NICHOLSON, I was so stoked to see him, for years he was Mr. Front Row at the Oscars. Photo credit:

What did you guys love in Februrary? I would love to hear about it!