Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Post About Guns I Didn't Want to Do But Holy Hell

If you know me, you know I don't want to talk about anything serious. I want to (try to) entertain and I want to be entertained. Because life is too short to not roll like that. I was gonna blog about meatloaf today but I've reach my breaking point on this war that's going on between the people who are trying to protect their right to bear arms and the people who want stricter gun control.

Before we go on, if you DO know me, you know I ain't about to drop some facts and percentages and shit like that on you. I'm not a fucking statistician. I'm a girl with a heart that hurts over this and I am here to talk about my feelings and opinions ONLY.

My back story with regard to this issue is that I don't really like guns. But ironically, I work in the public safety field (and though many of the four of you who might read this know me in real life and know what I do, I choose to not mix my job with this public area so that's all I can say), so not only have I been around guns but I am friends with many people who very much want their 2nd Amendment rights protected.

And I get it. I do. I'm not about to go try and find numbers about accidents in the home involving guns vs. people who protect themselves with them (see part about not being a statistician). And I know people who hunt and I totally respect their right to do it. I would never own a gun, and I would never hunt, but I TOTALLY respect the right of people who do.

I also do not know what the answer is as far as getting the guns out of the hands of bad guys. Like, at all. I know that if something is illegal, or hard to get, it doesn't mean people won't get it. Period.

I need to apologize right now because this post is going to be all over the damn place. I haven't even finished one cup of coffee, and I'm purposefully trying to write this fast because it's not fun and I want to get it over with.

Recently, obviously, the reason this conversation has been all over the place and is getting heated is because of what happened in Newtown. People in favor of gun control are even more so now because they just had their hearts broken because what happened was beyond horrific. The kind of thing that makes your brain a sad, swirling, terrible place because it is so unbelievable that something like this could have happened. But it did happen. And we could also go into a discussion about mental health but I'm just talking about guns so I'm not going to do that.

The point is that people who already had strong opinions now have even STRONGER ones, fueled by this sadness and heartbreak. Fueled by a desire that no parent should be scared to send their child off to school. They don't want that any other parent of a Kindergartener sends their child to school and finds out that their child was killed at school that day.

Obviously, no one wants that to happen to anyone.

The people who do not want stricter gun control don't want kids to killed. Obviously. But here is the first of my two problems with some of the people who are getting mad that people are calling for stricter gun control.

It's not the message. It's the way you're spreading the message.

Spread your message from a place of compassion and understanding WHY these people are getting worked up about gun control.

The tragedy in Newtown happened like, a minute ago. It's not some way off thing in history. And it happened to those poor people in that town, and it happened to ALL OF US, collectively. All of us wept that day, all of us had our hearts broken, all of us hugged our kids tighter that day, it affected ALL OF US.

The last straw for me was that there are people who are trying to prove that the massacre in Newtown did not happen. If this is the first you're hearing of that, then, like me, you're probably like, WHAT THE FUCK?

Let me get this straight... there are people who are trying to drum up evidence that on that day, all of those people, all of those children, really did not get killed?


Someone, maybe the government, in an effort to get the country on board with stricter gun control laws, concocted a massacre. And not at a mall, or an office building. At a school, primarily in a classroom full of Kindergarten children.


Okay, I know that most people who want to keep their guns and feel like people are trying to infringe upon their rights would also think this is utterly ridiculous. But it just reminded me of the tone of the conversation I've been seeing.

Look. I'm always saying something about Republicans and Democrats, because I'm a Democrat, but I know a bunch of Republicans, and maybe even love some of them. This part is really important, so everyone fucking listen:


NO ONE wants innocent children to get killed.
NO ONE wants crazy people or bad guys to have guns.

See? We agree on something.

So can we PLEASE act like caring, compassionate human beings with each other and figure out how the fuck to do this?

I don't know the answer. I just know that we should always try to be nice to each other.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

A Shortportant One

Yes, short, and important. Two things my blog posts almost never are.

If you can only pick one thing at which to be good, make it loving people.

It occurred to me last night that I'm not really good at much of anything. I like to sing to and I like to write, but plenty of people are way better at it than I am. I try to do the best I can do at my job (and so far I do well enough that they keep paying me to return, knock wood), but I'm not the best at it and may never be. I can't sew on a fucking button. I mean, I could if I absolutely had to, but it probably would not stay on my pants the entire day. And my house is probably always going to be a mess. And I'm more than likely always going to be a little bit fat (which would be better than being a lot fat like right now).

I am, however, really fucking super great at loving my kid. As she was cuddled up to me last night and I was reading to her because yes, reading to her is still awesome even though she can read, I thought, THIS is where it's at. THIS is the thing of which I'm most proud, that my kid never for a single second EVER doubts how much I love her.

Damn it all to heck, I just put on eye makeup and I'm tearing up like a little crybaby.

Everything we do, especially with our kids but this should go for everyone and everything, we should try to do it with COMPASSION. I'm talking about kids and parenting here, mainly, but you can figure out how to apply this even if you don't have kids and never want to have any of those and if you don't, hey, I get it, because it's a hard job and kids are not for everyone. For. Real. But even if they do stuff that is wrong or bad, we can correct them with love and compassion. It's like, I don't like what you did, but I still love YOU. You're going to have to get your timeout or get grounded or get your phone taken away, but let's TALK about this. And here's why this is bad and so help me, don't you ever do that again!

But I still LOVE you.

If you kick the bucket tomorrow, I GUARANTEE the thing of which you will be the most proud of is not that you are the best at your job or the smartest or the prettiest in your class or that you always win at backgammon or whatever. You will be the proudest of the fact that people you love knew you loved them because you were always telling them and showing them.

Especially your kids. They're not accessories. We're growing human beings. Literally. Like, what a big deal that is.

I know I'm lucky. My kid can be a pain and a diva and dramatic and emotional and unreasonable. But mostly she is sweet and good and full of joy and the light of my life. So loving her is a piece of cake. I know this. But still, for some reason I just felt like I wanted to say today that

the thing you should want to be the best at is loving. Especially your kids.

P. S. Sorry, I thought this was gonna be shorter, I really did!!

Friday, January 11, 2013


Oh, how I love a blog post title that contains an ellipsis! Yes, because I'm a nerd.
And how I love being able to steal be inspired by this post from my girl Tami (and she was inspired by Gina). So big thanks to those ladies because I needed to write something and this made me want to do that so YAY!
Loving:    My kid, as usual. And that she got off to school even though she'd been awake since like 5:30 or so blowing her nose. My poor little snotty boo boo. But she's always just so awesome and a constant source of joy. I love a bunch of other stuff. Like my friends who keep me sane, my mother who REALLY keeps me sane, and I just love LOVE in general. Like, get some of that if you can, for real. It's kind of a big deal.
My wackadoodle doo representin' her Grandma's team 
Watching:    At the moment, amazingly, nothing. But then computer time doesn't usually include TV for me. But I imagine when I get off my butt and onto the treadmill I will probably finish this week's Top Chef. I so badly want to hang out with Stefan and drink and just listen to him tell stories. He amuses me so.
Oh, and soon I want to go to the movies and watch Silver Linings Playbook. Have any of you seen it?
Love. Him. photo credit Stefan's at L.A. Farm's Facebook page
Reading:    Not enough. About one billion things open on my Kindle. I guess I was last reading Pride and Prejudice, though I've read it many times. Buddhism for Dummies is always in my bathroom. Penny Marshall's book is open on the Kindle. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Sea of Monsters. A YA sort of book, think Harry Potter-ish except the kids in the book are the products of relationships Greek gods had with mortals. Entertaining. Also reading several books with the kid including Wreck-It Ralph from the Disney Junior Novelization series (well-done and they read like the movies).
Anticipating:    Well, this is going to sound weird since in the Bay Area lately it's been like five degrees below zero (or like 38 degrees, as it is currently but to one as thin-skinned as I am weather-ararily it might as well be 5 below), but I am so looking forward to summer. I started thinking about that when I noticed the days getting longer, like when I get off work and it's not dark like it was just a little bit ago. I can't wait until it's summer and the kid and I have days off together and the weather is warm and we head to the beach. Cannot. Wait.

Listening To:  Regina Spektor on Spotify. The one I play over and over again is "Firewood." Much thanks to my teenage niece who would post about her on Facebook, as that's how I got turned on to her. Okay, the one playing right now is "All the Rowboats."  
Planning:  Geez. I don't know. Planning to plan more. A few social things if I can work out who will watch my kid. Planning to get back on my good eating plan tomorrow since I've been HORRIBLE at it recently on account of being all dramatic and emotional and being mad at people I love and junk and that makes me want to stuff my face which is stupid but it's true. Planning to exercise today since I think my energy is back after my double blood donation the other day. I think I'm also planning to clean some areas of my house I never bother with and to that end I already took a bunch of stuff off this one shelf in my office. We'll see how that goes.
Yep. A ton of plans. Sheesh.
Working On:    Oh man, I rambled on about stuff I'm planning to do that I could have maybe put here. Let's see. Working on being calmer. Counting my blessings or the agnostic version of those. Being healthier. Like, the stuff from my New Year's post, that sort of thing. But maybe my number one thing today is just chilling. And not being lazy, but just BREATHING. And not WORRYING about stuff THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. Working on not filling in spaces of silence in conversations with bad stuff. I'd be cooking with gas if I could do that.
Wishing:    That either my house was not the horrible mess that it is or that like I said in my Facebook status, I had a maid. Not even kidding. Dreading tackling it which is probably one of the reasons I'm writing, yet another stalling tactic! Hey, at least laundry's going. Though it's probably ready for the dryer...
What about you? What are you currently…?