Monday, December 31, 2012

I Miss Dick Clark and I Need to Figure Out My Ryan Seacrest Problem

I know, I'm posting two days in a row, but do not get your collective apocalyptic panties in a bunch, I swear to you the world is NOT ending.

I just need to work out this problem and I need your help. This is a two-fold problem. So put on your thinking caps.

The back story is I have been a fan of ringing in the New Year with Dick Clark for as long as I can remember. I don't really recall when I started staying up until midnight on December 31st, but I know when I was like 17 or 18 or something I was, and I remember one time when I was like 19 and I was SO SICK and I watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve at my boyfriend's house who stayed with me even though we were invited to a party, which was really sweet because he could have told me to go f$%k myself and be sick at home so he could go to the party.

Anyway, when I say I watched the show, I don't mean like, the whole show. Because I would hardly ever watch anything other than the last 10 or 15 minutes before midnight, when stuff started getting exciting. That's the part I'm talking about. If I was at home, or if I was at a party at my house or someone else's house I would be like okay, it's time to put the TV on to channel 7 so we can do our countdown with Dick Clark, and no, it did not matter that he had really done this countdown 3 hours prior. Not one bit.

The man, new year's-ararily
photo credit

There were several years after I had my kid where I did not care one bit about being awake for the start of the new year. You parents know how it is, when you have a kid you sleep when you are able and you don't mind saying "happy new year" at like, 9 pm and pretending it's cool to celebrate on east coast time.

So then Dick Clark had a stroke, which was very sad, so they brought in Ryan Seacrest to be the host and pretty much just propped Dick up in the studio as decoration which again was super sad, but at least he was there. And now, obviously, since he died, there will be no Dick this year.

Just. Ryan. Seacrest.

I don't like him. Usually when I don't like people, be they a celebrity or a real person, I usually feel pretty justified in my dislike. But I find myself questioning my intense dislike of Ryan Seacrest.

I watched like, one part of one season of American Idol, and not really even on purpose, it was just when I used to get off at 9 and I would go pick up my baby from my mom's house she would have it on and one thing lead to another and I actually just paid attention a little bit that season. And I'm pretty sure it was then that I decided he was a weasel and I couldn't stand him but I'm really not sure why.

I have wondered if it's because he's kind of a little guy but damn, I married and made a baby with a little guy once so I don't think that's it.

I'm talking to my brother last night about new year's and I was like I hate that damn Ryan Seacrest and he was like well, I don't really like him but I admire his hustle, which makes sense, since my brother is a successful businessman, that he would appreciate the fact that Ryan Seacrest is EVERYWHERE and has made like eighty gajillion dollars because he is EVERYWHERE. Then I said to my brother, the thing is, of ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the people in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, why does it have to be Ryan Seacrest who takes over the show? Why do I have to choose to go to some other channel or ring in the new year with this guy? I said there are like tons of people who would be a better choice. And he's like, who? And I'm like ummmmmmmmm... I'll get back to you on that.

Okay, so this is where you people come in and I'm sorry that as usual I had to ramble for 8 billion years to get to the point. I want to know who would be better than Ryan Seacrest to host Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve (or anything else that Seacrest does) and also, help me understand if thinking he is a weasel is justified.

I want to be justified in my dislike of this guy. That may not happen. But it might, with your help.

But seriously, does this face not look hella punchable?
photo credit

I will throw out a few names of people with whom I would like to ring in the new year on my TV who are NOT Ryan Seacrest (so obviously they need to be famous but not famous ENOUGH that they would be like are you crazy, why would I host that show when I am over here being a famous movie star).

Guys who host late night shows would be good, because hey're used to staying up late, right?
Jimmy Fallon
Conan O'Brien
Craig Ferguson
I love David Letterman but I don't see it and I don't like Jay Leno, so no thanks.

Wayne Brady
Neil Patrick Harris
Aisha Tyler
Ellen DeGeneres

Okay, seriously, I could go on and on. But I think I would like to start a campaign to make the new host of Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve be Tom Bergeron.

I know this will never happen because Ryan is all in with the production company, he might have sold his soul to the Devil and this is all part of the deal, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Sigh. So what will I watch tonight if I happen to be up at midnight? I'm not even sure yet. What are you guys doing? Do you like to stay home? Go out and get your party on? I love the idea of parties but I hate the idea of driving anywhere plus I have my kid so staying home and chilling is my plan.

Whatever you do, have fun and be safe, yo.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Some Stuff I'm Fixin' to Try to Do in 2013: The For Realz This Time Edition

I'm not going to call anything I plan to do a New Year's resolution because then I'll biff it for sure. I just refuse to say that I RESOLVE to do x, y, and z, because I'll be setting myself up to fail a little bit, at least.

So I'm going to TRY to do this stuff. Because maybe some of it I try to do already but I might make a renewed effort because yes, it is a brand spanking new year and that seems as good a time as any to let old acquaintance with bad habits be forgot and days of auld lang syne and all of that, my dear.

Plus I need to do a post because I haven't since like December 5th. So let's just start with...

1. Blog more. 
I need to stop being so damn lazy and just like, sit down and do it instead of hoping a muse will strike and force my fingers to the keyboard because that just about never happens.

2. Eat better.
As soon as I type something like that I want to go look at what I wrote LAST YEAR but that will make me feel like an asshole. Well, if you know me or read any of my recent posts you know it hasn't been a banner year for me. So I'm not gonna beat myself up too badly for what didn't happen in 2012. So yes, I need to eat more vegetables. Those are like, things that come out the ground, apparently, and sometimes they're green or orange or white. The green ones are the ones I especially need. Also fruit. I can goes days on end without ingesting anything that remotely resembles fruit. And then less fat. Like, I don't know, make a jar of mayonnaise last a lot longer than it has been in my fridge. Less cheese. Fewer processed things like turkey hot dogs. Dang, I really love turkey hot dogs. More stuff like chicken and veggies and junk.

If ever I read a magazine and there's a celebrity talking about how they stay in shape they are forever eating grilled chicken and veggies. Grilled chicken and veggies. And I like grilled chicken and veggies but I want it between two pieces of bread with mayonnaise and they never mention that part in the article. So I am gonna try to eat more grilled chicken and veggies, hold the bread and mayo.

Note to self: vegetables look like this

3. Keep up the exercise.
I'm sort of in a groove, especially with strength training, so I want to stay in that groove and keep up my cardio and not let myself go several days at a time without. So yes, that.

4. Watch less TV.
No, I'm kidding. I probably won't watch less TV because I love it.

5. Get my kid to eat more veggies. I mean, get my kid to eat veggies.
So this will go with number 2. Like, seriously. I have done a horrible job as a mom on this front. I don't even want to get into it because it'll get me all bummed and I'll never get this post finished. So just trust me on this one, I'm gonna try to be all like "normal mom" where we "fix dinner" and "sit down at the table" and "eat together." Like that. Because it's not really like that now for a variety of reasons so this one is HUGE. I'm all over it. For realz. I have told all of you this so now I must stick to this one. I love my kid more than anything in the whole world and I need to nourish her properly. Word.

6. Not be a stupid dummy when it comes to money.
I used to work at a newspaper in the circulation department back in the day, and I will never forget when this one lady called her paper carrier a "stupid dummy." And she did this in the office in person and I have no clue how I managed to keep a straight face because it was one of the best things I ever heard and I am forever in her debt since I love to use that phrase, and that was like 20 years ago.

Anyway, when it comes to money I am a stupid, stupid, stupid, dummy. This is another one where if I go into it I'm gonna put my head down on the desk and cry and then where will that get me? Exactly nowhere. I am 42 years old. But I have the money management skills of a young 10 year old who blows all their lawn mowing money on candy and Slurpees. When I had a paper route back in the day my money literally went to playing Pole Position and eating candy at 7-11. I shit you not. So I'm still like that. Except I'm a grown-up and a single mom who thankfully has a mother who has bailed me out of trouble like one too many times. As I've told her, I will need no inheritance should she ever leave this earth since I am getting it as I go.

Long story long, if I don't fix this one I am an asshole. Period, the end.

7. Drink less beer.
See what I said about TV.


I don't know, we'll see. As it is maybe a couple of times each week I want one AFTER my workout because a) it's delicious and b) there was that Spanish study or something about beer being good for hydration after exercise but c) mostly it's delicious. So we'll see about that one. I'm on the fence. And then there are the MANY I might have when I'm with my girlfriends and... oh man. This non-resolution is making me sad. NEXT.

Me, not drinking less beer

8. Be nicer. And more patient.
If I can pull of this one it will be a miracle.

Look, I'm not a terrible person. Some people think I'm a pretty good one. So I mean I need to be nicer to people who don't necessarily deserve me to be nice to them. Because that will make ME feel better. Like way better. Because it takes so much more energy to be NOT nice than to be nice. Like seriously. So I will work on this one.

My girlfriend made that for me, isn't it cool?

9. Worry less about stuff I can't change or that hasn't happened yet.
If anyone has advice on how to actually do this one I am all ears. But I'll throw it on the list for grins.

10. Do more stuff around my house, like deal with boxes that have been in my garage for 3.5 years.
Maybe if I start watching Hoarders I will get this situation tackled. My house is only just ever "sorta" clean. I have too much stuff. Way too much stuff. The only way to deal with that is to sort the stuff and get rid of some of the stuff. Wish me luck.

If you guys don't have any resolutions or things you want to work on, that's awesome, because that means you're rockin' it like you want to already. If you are able, be nicer and laugh more. Because we can never get enough of that sort of thing.

But if you DO have some ideas about what's gonna happen in 2013 for YOU, I'd love to hear them!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A Few Times When I Like, Totally Made The Right Decision

So, as has happened before, several times, actually, my buddy Tams over at Teacher Goes Back to School has yet again inspired me to write some stuff down. She was inspired by Amy  (and I dig her blog), and also by Holly, and I'm new to Holly and super thankful she inspired Tams. So Tams could inspire me. See, it's a big ol' circle of inspiration and perhaps I will inspire some of you. It's CRAZY how that stuff works.

What we're talking about here are the best decisions we've made as grown-ups. First of all, I'm not really a fan of making decisions and never have been, I don't think. I think it's sort of weird to be a control freak (which I am) but also someone who doesn't enjoy making decisions (and I'm also that). So it's kind of a miracle I ever made any decisions, like, ever, frankly. Plus I really needed to write something since I've been so flipping lazy so sure, let me kind of shout about some of the things I've managed to get right and write something down at the same time.

1. Getting knocked up.

I seriously at one time wasn't sure I wanted to have a kid. Which makes sense, there are a lot of grown-ups who feel that way. You know, you're sitting around with your man and you're all like, "This is so great. It's just me and you and we don't have any stupid diapers to change and we can come and go as we please and wow, this is just so awesome." And there is totally truth to that. But holy heck. The thing in this life of which I'm surest is that I was supposed to be Kayla's mom. On the very hardest days with her it has never occurred to be that I wish I could go back and change it. She is the light of my life, the beginning and the end, the main deal. Everything else I have is just icing on a Kayla cake, pretty much.

2. Taking that job at the movie theater.

Does this count as a grown-up decision? Crap, probably not. I was 17. But had I not taken that job and had instead taken the first job offered, the one at the cookie place I would not be here now. I was supposed to meet the folks I met at that place (mainly my ex-husband). Super important part of my journey.

3. Moving out of my folks' house when I did/living alone.

Oh my gosh. I am so glad I had the chance to live on my own before I shacked up with my ex. Living alone makes you realize that you can live alone. This one is a little bit huge for women who sometimes don't think the can live alone so they stick around in situations that are not conducive to their well-being because they think they need a dude around. Nope, not so much. Well, at least not for me. I am woman, hear me roar, and watch me take out my own garbage. Granted, I have the bestest cutest roommate in the world who is almost seven, but still. I'm kinda set in my ways now about not living with a guy, for better or worse, but that's just the way it is.

4. Leaving my ex.

Seriously. I planned on being married forever and ever. I truly did. But leaving that marriage was the second best decision I ever made as an adult.

Look. It's like this. There is the person you think you are within the confines of a relationship with someone with whom you should not be in a relationship to begin with. And then there is the you who has that relationship under her belt, and who is eleven years older, and a heckuva lot wiser. I like that "you" way better than the other one.

5. Wookin' pa nook on the Internet.

Yes, I really just said that.

After my marriage ended I knew I did not want a boyfriend but I also managed to like, hmmm, how to put it... sort of hit my stride as a woman. Just, use your imagination. So no, I do not have this really long belt with  a bunch of notches in it. It's not like that. But I knew I was not gonna meet anyone in the "normal" way, like, "Hey, I have this friend and I think you might like him," nor did I think the dude I wanted to spend any time with was gonna show up on a bar stool next to me. Though yes, that sort of thing totally can and does happen, I just didn't think it would for me. And as it turns out I have made a friend I even hope to have for like, the duration (I mean who knows how those things go, right?). But the end of the story is that I'm very happy. And had I never poked around on the Internet I would not be saying that. So I'm super thankful I listened to my friends who said, "Why the heck not?"

6. I applied to work where I work.

Thanks to my mom, because I never thought I would want to be in this line of work, and here I am having found my career. Crazytown.

7. I went to college. A bunch of it.

Did I wind up working in the field in which I almost earned a master's degree? I did not. I am glad I am able to say I have a bachelor's degree? I am. Do I think having to use your brain like that and do a lot of work is a super character building sort of experience? For shizzle.

8. I never lived more than 30 miles away from my family and friends.

I need those people. I love that I'm 12 minutes away from my mom and 10 from my brother and sister-in-law and that I have friends sprinkled all around me. These people lift me up, they boost my spirits, and I get to hug on them in person a lot. I'm so lucky.

What about you guys?  I know you've made some awesome decisions and I'd love to hear about them.