Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Year So Far

So far I'm giving 2010 a thumbs up. Definitely better than 2009. Granted, in 2009 I ended a marriage and lost a house so it's not like the first 8 (almost 9, I guess) days of 2010 would have to be stellar to put it ahead of 2009.

So what's better about it? Well, for starters, it's an even-numbered year. I tend to think those are better for some reason. For example, I was born in 1970, my parents bought their house in Hilltop Green in 1978, 10th and 12th grades were okay as far as school goes, while the 9th and 11th not so much. I started my job at the West County Times in 1990, and while it was a low-paying dead-end sort of job, I made friends there that I will have for life. Started one of my least favorite jobs in 1999. Got together with my ex-husband in '97, but got married in '02. My kid was due in January of 2006... but she showed up in December of 2005...

Okay, so the whole even-numbered year thing doesn't hold much water, but still. There is a certain sturdiness to 2010 that I appreciate. And like hey, we have made it through an entire decade of the 21st century! And want to know what's weird? Years from now, assuming the world as we know it still exists, the people around in the year 2090 will be talking about how WE lived in the olden days, back in 2010, like we talk about the people who were around during the big quake of 1906! Whoa. That's trippy. But as usual, I digress.

I suppose my favorite thing about 2010 is that I started my new year's resolution before the year started. After celebrating a wonderful Christmas with my family, followed up two days later by Kayla's 4th birthday, to say I was super duper fat would be a HUGE, and I do mean huge, understatement. As my dear Spook said that time we ate at Strings so many years ago, as we were finishing up our shared dessert, "I'm so fat I can't turn my head." Yes, it was like that. And sadly, I had been feeling like that for quite some time, oh, I'd say at least since 2006.

At least while I was pregnant and fat, that was okay, because, you know, I was pregnant. But when instead of losing weight after I got pregnant I kept gaining... and gaining... apparently due to eating to combat stress... and eating because I was bored... and eating because there was some food over there, you know, within reach... and not exercising... like, almost ever. See, all of that will make you fat!

Throw in being in your late '30's and well, you're pretty much screwed.

Oh, so yes, the new year's resolution was to put down the fork and get off my ass. I think I can say ass because this is my very own blog, and if you read this, you probably know me, and if you know me, you know I like bad words. A lot.

So on the get off my ass front, I have done some sort of exercise every day for the past 13 days. I have decided I must become as I once was, in the late '90's, that person who MUST exercise every day. I swear to God, that was me. Not only that, but I took weight training classes at Contra Costa College, and at my leanest, I actually went to Jazzercize class in a sports bra and tight little matching shorts. And looked good. I'm not kidding.

And no, I will never have that body again. If for no other reason than I'm damn near 40, not 29, and I am pretty sure that having a baby live inside my body for several months actually stretched my bones. At least it sounds good in theory.

On the put down the fork front, that has been harder BUT I have had amazing accomplishments such as not having a single Red Onion french fry yesterday when I was smelling that most wonderful aroma for close to an hour, and not taking a single one of the chocolate chip crack cookies that Super brought in, and really, they are crackrrific. Granted, it's always going to be a struggle because I've always loved food and always eaten when I'm not hungry, but I'm trying really hard to be mindful of what's I'm my fork and trying to keep in mind that what I've been doing DOES NOT WORK.

Does my new mindset (because really, it's new, I haven't exercised 13 days in a row since... ummm... the late '90's?) have anything to with turning 40 in June? I did not think about that consciously but I'm pretty sure it does. I'm not freaking out about it so much as that number might as well be a sign that says, STOP F#%KING AROUND, JEN! Like, really, this is the only life and the only body I'm getting. Do I want to wear cute clothing? Yes. Do I want to be healthier for my kid and for me? Of course. Do I want to have to fend off guys at the bar? Weeeellllll, that part not so much, that would be annoying. I do like the invisibility that this fat suit can sometimes give me!

I am so hoping I don't write in 2 weeks about how I went back to my old, non-working ways. That would be a real bummer. I don't know... I'm thinking I will still be liking me and 2010.




3 comments:

vanessa vichit-vadakan said...

always a joy so see you writing. do it more, please.

tamihackbarth said...

what she said.

oh and if you want dudes to look right through you, just start wearing glasses. seriously, it works.

keep up the good work!

Kimberly Gallagher-Wright said...

Yes, Tami, I concur. (And no, I don't know if I spelled "concur" right, but I'm too lazy to look it up at the moment). Glasses are indeed the invisibility cloak. I am so with you, Spooky...my fat cloak, as it is...definitely has helped fend on the mens the last decade...I was never good at dealing with that... But I too am on the 2010 has got to be better than 2009...I'm South Beachin' it...I can't diet without structure, I have found that over many years of dieting..so whatever works...is what I do. And south beach is workin' so far. I am 'too fat that I can't turn my head' these days myself...but I have actually been 20 lbs heavier than I am now...and my husband proposed to me at my current 200+ lbs. of goodness that I am now... So I don't hate myself...just trying to work it, like you are. Keep it up...you can do it!