Friday, March 29, 2013


Warning: This post is about crappy stuff so I use a lot of bad words. I apologize in advance for my salty sailor mouthnanigans.

March has been a bunch of ugh.

Well, Februrary had some ugh, too.

January, a little bit.

That's going back far enough in the annals of ugh.

Sometimes there is not a better word to use to describe a general state of being or a general condition of current events. Ugh.

I just looked up a definition and it is supposed to be an expression used to convey disgust or horror. It's not like that for me. It's just like, come on. Period, no explanation mark at this point because I'm too tired but sometimes an explanation mark is warranted. Come the fuck on. Enough already with one thing after another.

I've been having this thing going on in my personal life that I... I think I can only describe it as the slowest ripping off of the Band-Aid in human history, heartbreak-ararily. There's no other way to put it. Do I wish I'd known two months ago to rip that motherfucker off and let the scabbing begin? Oh fuck yes, I really really really really really really do. We live, we learn, we have faith in and invest in people who don't deserve the faith or investment. So we learn from this shit, we grow, and so on and so forth. So I'm not at that "growth" part yet, I'm still totally on that scab part. And I keep looking at it. I mean, I was totally picking at it for a while, because I mean, this is so disgusting, but who among us can resist the urge to pick a little? Okay, the ones who raised their hands on that are also the same ones who go on a diet and stick to it or who don't drunk text their exes and they probably do their homework as soon as they get it instead of waiting until the last minute. And no zit popping, either. And to those folks I say, WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! No, you guys with some self-control and discipline are awesome and I hope to be like you a little bit when I grow up.

A friend I loved very much who was an extremely special part of my life passed away in February. And it was cancer and that wasn't supposed to happen. Because she was going to beat it. And my dad died from cancer four months before she did so you know, it really wasn't supposed to happen now. Not to me and to my mom who also loved this person, too, when we are still dealing with losing dad. What a bunch of fucking bullshit cancer is. Fuck cancer.

I find myself getting so sad and pissed off still that my dad is not here. That's all I can say about that right now without crying like a crybaby beyotch. If you've been there I don't have to tell you. It sucks ass.

My last ugh is having to deal with a couple few people who are just... annoying. In the scheme of things, no big deal. But on top of everything, I would like to tell them to shut the fuck up and fuck off and that goes for the horse they rode in as well. Which makes me sound mean about horses. But they are so cute and they have those big eyes so I would never be mean to them for real. But you know what I mean. People with whom you have to deal and you're just, fuck this person and shut the fuck up. Luckily, the majority of that issue is temporary so yay. I just thought I'd throw in that final ugh.

Oh, and hormones. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I just needed to get this out. If you've been dealing with a bunch of ugh hey! You're hella not alone. We're riding this ugh ship together!

Even in a post about ugh I have to say that I have way more good stuff than bad stuff in my life and for that, I'm ridiculously grateful. You guys already know because I have said it before. Best kid, mom, friends in the entire world. When you start there, you're pretty okay. Which I am, pretty okay. And going to get okay-er day by day.

Thanks for listening.

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