Wake Me Up on Election Day

So last night I watched the debate. Or as much of it as I could with interruptions from Kayla, who was "having a mood," as she likes to say. And all I can say is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh my goodness, how BORING! Maybe since Saturday Night Live has been doing such a good job with their send-ups of Sarah Palin interviews and the Biden/Palin debate ("You just got schooled BIDEN-STYLE!"), it made watching Barack Obama and John McCain go at it seem as exciting as that time you were in a hardware store watching two guys discuss the merits of one wrench over another. Well, just pick your favorite boring subject and then picture two guys talking about it in a really, really boring way.

Now of course, I'm interested in the world. I live in it, after all. But maybe it's just that the debate sounded to me like this: "Blah, blah, blah pork barrel." "Blah blah blah earmarks." "Blah blah blah this country." "Blah blah blah that country." "Blah blah blah economy." And I guess all I kept thinking is that who in the heck is going to be able to fix any of this stuff?

At this point in the game, what I have to go on is my party affiliation, for starters. Like I've said before, I have always been a Democrat, and I turned 18 right before the primary in '88 in which I got to vote for Dukakis. Then sadly watch him get defeated. Then in '92 I voted for Clinton and turned cartwheels when he got elected not once but twice (and I kind of wish I could vote for him again because in spite of everything, he's still my favorite). I can still remember calling Spook (or Spook calling me) on election night and I think we just screamed at each other because we were so excited.

The other thing is personalities. I don't like McCain. I don't like Palin. These are people I would not invite over to my house to play Scattergories or Trivial Pursuit. Barack, this guy I'd invite over, though I'd ask him to loosen up a little bit and not be such a smarty pants with the Trivial Pursuit. He's a smart guy, that's obvious. So when someone says, "What about the fact that he hasn't had experience doing x, y, and z?" I think to myself, this is one smart cat and he will hire people who know about these things.

On a purely selfish and vain level, it is cool to have someone running for president who is, like me, a mixed-race American. That is cool. So I know that I like Obama better than McCain (because for one thing, like Gene Burns said on KGO last night, I think McCain's demeanor in the debate was "snarky"), and I liked him better than Hillary, but considering I voted for him in the primary and will vote for him in November, I wish I knew more about him. That is my fault - I'm by no means saying that he is not telling us about himself, I have just not paid much attention, but anyone who read my first blog knows I'm just that way - oblivious. I'll keep being honest about that, in spite of the fact it makes me look like an idiot. At least I have his books on my list of stuff I want to read, and as soon as I read this really entertaining stuff I'm reading right now I'll move on to that. Before the election even, I promise.

I have to say, cheers to these guys for wanting this job. Seriously, I think it sucks. Never in a million bajillion years would I want to be president. Think about it. It would be like... I can't even think of a job to compare it to! But then I'm the kind of person who, while a control freak, doesn't want to be in charge at work. I like being invisible-ish and being able to pass the buck up if I need to do so. Don't get me wrong, I want to do a great job at whatever I do, I just don't want to be the boss. So to be president and be boss of like, the whole country... the thought of the paperwork alone makes my head hurt.

But back to why I think this whole campaign is so... blah blah blah to me. Really, who can fix us? Who can fix the economy? Who can make all these countries who hate us and want to obliterate us from the face of the earth not want to do that? Who can change the fact that we have been at war for so many years spinning our wheels as countless lives are lost? Who can give me hope that one day we will again have that innocence I feel so lucky to have experienced as a kid... back when we didn't seem to think Russia was going to nuke us anymore and reports of terrorists were few and far between? Any of you born in 1970 or thereabouts know what I'm talking about. Heck, that was back when we could walk all over town without grown-ups and not think anyone would kidnap us, either! How do we get back to that? What human on this planet can make it good like that again?

The answer is no one. Do I trust one or the other of them to get us closer? Sure, that's why I'm going to vote for Barack. But do I wish I could write in a name like "Superman," or "Batman," or... I can't even think of any other good superheroes. This is way out of the league of say, an Aquaman or Green Hornet. We need someone who can fly and deflect bullets and turn back time, if needed. Or we need someone who can make a movie and project it into the sky so that everyone can see it, and it would say something like, "KNOCK IT OFF!" Just those words, so that everyone on the planet could see them and say, "Why yes, we are being rather silly about everything, aren't we, and it would sure be a lot better if we could just all make friends with one another since we all have to live on this planet together."

Does anyone else have any other ideas? I'd love to hear them.