Monday, December 31, 2012

I Miss Dick Clark and I Need to Figure Out My Ryan Seacrest Problem

I know, I'm posting two days in a row, but do not get your collective apocalyptic panties in a bunch, I swear to you the world is NOT ending.

I just need to work out this problem and I need your help. This is a two-fold problem. So put on your thinking caps.

The back story is I have been a fan of ringing in the New Year with Dick Clark for as long as I can remember. I don't really recall when I started staying up until midnight on December 31st, but I know when I was like 17 or 18 or something I was, and I remember one time when I was like 19 and I was SO SICK and I watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve at my boyfriend's house who stayed with me even though we were invited to a party, which was really sweet because he could have told me to go f$%k myself and be sick at home so he could go to the party.

Anyway, when I say I watched the show, I don't mean like, the whole show. Because I would hardly ever watch anything other than the last 10 or 15 minutes before midnight, when stuff started getting exciting. That's the part I'm talking about. If I was at home, or if I was at a party at my house or someone else's house I would be like okay, it's time to put the TV on to channel 7 so we can do our countdown with Dick Clark, and no, it did not matter that he had really done this countdown 3 hours prior. Not one bit.

The man, new year's-ararily
photo credit

There were several years after I had my kid where I did not care one bit about being awake for the start of the new year. You parents know how it is, when you have a kid you sleep when you are able and you don't mind saying "happy new year" at like, 9 pm and pretending it's cool to celebrate on east coast time.

So then Dick Clark had a stroke, which was very sad, so they brought in Ryan Seacrest to be the host and pretty much just propped Dick up in the studio as decoration which again was super sad, but at least he was there. And now, obviously, since he died, there will be no Dick this year.

Just. Ryan. Seacrest.

I don't like him. Usually when I don't like people, be they a celebrity or a real person, I usually feel pretty justified in my dislike. But I find myself questioning my intense dislike of Ryan Seacrest.

I watched like, one part of one season of American Idol, and not really even on purpose, it was just when I used to get off at 9 and I would go pick up my baby from my mom's house she would have it on and one thing lead to another and I actually just paid attention a little bit that season. And I'm pretty sure it was then that I decided he was a weasel and I couldn't stand him but I'm really not sure why.

I have wondered if it's because he's kind of a little guy but damn, I married and made a baby with a little guy once so I don't think that's it.

I'm talking to my brother last night about new year's and I was like I hate that damn Ryan Seacrest and he was like well, I don't really like him but I admire his hustle, which makes sense, since my brother is a successful businessman, that he would appreciate the fact that Ryan Seacrest is EVERYWHERE and has made like eighty gajillion dollars because he is EVERYWHERE. Then I said to my brother, the thing is, of ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the people in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, why does it have to be Ryan Seacrest who takes over the show? Why do I have to choose to go to some other channel or ring in the new year with this guy? I said there are like tons of people who would be a better choice. And he's like, who? And I'm like ummmmmmmmm... I'll get back to you on that.

Okay, so this is where you people come in and I'm sorry that as usual I had to ramble for 8 billion years to get to the point. I want to know who would be better than Ryan Seacrest to host Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve (or anything else that Seacrest does) and also, help me understand if thinking he is a weasel is justified.

I want to be justified in my dislike of this guy. That may not happen. But it might, with your help.

But seriously, does this face not look hella punchable?
photo credit

I will throw out a few names of people with whom I would like to ring in the new year on my TV who are NOT Ryan Seacrest (so obviously they need to be famous but not famous ENOUGH that they would be like are you crazy, why would I host that show when I am over here being a famous movie star).

Guys who host late night shows would be good, because hey're used to staying up late, right?
Jimmy Fallon
Conan O'Brien
Craig Ferguson
I love David Letterman but I don't see it and I don't like Jay Leno, so no thanks.

Wayne Brady
Neil Patrick Harris
Aisha Tyler
Ellen DeGeneres

Okay, seriously, I could go on and on. But I think I would like to start a campaign to make the new host of Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve be Tom Bergeron.

I know this will never happen because Ryan is all in with the production company, he might have sold his soul to the Devil and this is all part of the deal, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Sigh. So what will I watch tonight if I happen to be up at midnight? I'm not even sure yet. What are you guys doing? Do you like to stay home? Go out and get your party on? I love the idea of parties but I hate the idea of driving anywhere plus I have my kid so staying home and chilling is my plan.

Whatever you do, have fun and be safe, yo.

1 comment:

Lynna said...

It's because he took over Casey Kasem's weekly countdown of Top songs and so he became the "natural" host of New Year's Eve.

I don't dislike Ryan Seacrest, although I have a hard time not associating him with being a DJ on one of the SF radio stations a long, long, long, long time agao.