Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A Few Times When I Like, Totally Made The Right Decision

So, as has happened before, several times, actually, my buddy Tams over at Teacher Goes Back to School has yet again inspired me to write some stuff down. She was inspired by Amy  (and I dig her blog), and also by Holly, and I'm new to Holly and super thankful she inspired Tams. So Tams could inspire me. See, it's a big ol' circle of inspiration and perhaps I will inspire some of you. It's CRAZY how that stuff works.

What we're talking about here are the best decisions we've made as grown-ups. First of all, I'm not really a fan of making decisions and never have been, I don't think. I think it's sort of weird to be a control freak (which I am) but also someone who doesn't enjoy making decisions (and I'm also that). So it's kind of a miracle I ever made any decisions, like, ever, frankly. Plus I really needed to write something since I've been so flipping lazy so sure, let me kind of shout about some of the things I've managed to get right and write something down at the same time.

1. Getting knocked up.

I seriously at one time wasn't sure I wanted to have a kid. Which makes sense, there are a lot of grown-ups who feel that way. You know, you're sitting around with your man and you're all like, "This is so great. It's just me and you and we don't have any stupid diapers to change and we can come and go as we please and wow, this is just so awesome." And there is totally truth to that. But holy heck. The thing in this life of which I'm surest is that I was supposed to be Kayla's mom. On the very hardest days with her it has never occurred to be that I wish I could go back and change it. She is the light of my life, the beginning and the end, the main deal. Everything else I have is just icing on a Kayla cake, pretty much.

2. Taking that job at the movie theater.

Does this count as a grown-up decision? Crap, probably not. I was 17. But had I not taken that job and had instead taken the first job offered, the one at the cookie place I would not be here now. I was supposed to meet the folks I met at that place (mainly my ex-husband). Super important part of my journey.

3. Moving out of my folks' house when I did/living alone.

Oh my gosh. I am so glad I had the chance to live on my own before I shacked up with my ex. Living alone makes you realize that you can live alone. This one is a little bit huge for women who sometimes don't think the can live alone so they stick around in situations that are not conducive to their well-being because they think they need a dude around. Nope, not so much. Well, at least not for me. I am woman, hear me roar, and watch me take out my own garbage. Granted, I have the bestest cutest roommate in the world who is almost seven, but still. I'm kinda set in my ways now about not living with a guy, for better or worse, but that's just the way it is.

4. Leaving my ex.

Seriously. I planned on being married forever and ever. I truly did. But leaving that marriage was the second best decision I ever made as an adult.

Look. It's like this. There is the person you think you are within the confines of a relationship with someone with whom you should not be in a relationship to begin with. And then there is the you who has that relationship under her belt, and who is eleven years older, and a heckuva lot wiser. I like that "you" way better than the other one.

5. Wookin' pa nook on the Internet.

Yes, I really just said that.

After my marriage ended I knew I did not want a boyfriend but I also managed to like, hmmm, how to put it... sort of hit my stride as a woman. Just, use your imagination. So no, I do not have this really long belt with  a bunch of notches in it. It's not like that. But I knew I was not gonna meet anyone in the "normal" way, like, "Hey, I have this friend and I think you might like him," nor did I think the dude I wanted to spend any time with was gonna show up on a bar stool next to me. Though yes, that sort of thing totally can and does happen, I just didn't think it would for me. And as it turns out I have made a friend I even hope to have for like, the duration (I mean who knows how those things go, right?). But the end of the story is that I'm very happy. And had I never poked around on the Internet I would not be saying that. So I'm super thankful I listened to my friends who said, "Why the heck not?"

6. I applied to work where I work.

Thanks to my mom, because I never thought I would want to be in this line of work, and here I am having found my career. Crazytown.

7. I went to college. A bunch of it.

Did I wind up working in the field in which I almost earned a master's degree? I did not. I am glad I am able to say I have a bachelor's degree? I am. Do I think having to use your brain like that and do a lot of work is a super character building sort of experience? For shizzle.

8. I never lived more than 30 miles away from my family and friends.

I need those people. I love that I'm 12 minutes away from my mom and 10 from my brother and sister-in-law and that I have friends sprinkled all around me. These people lift me up, they boost my spirits, and I get to hug on them in person a lot. I'm so lucky.

What about you guys?  I know you've made some awesome decisions and I'd love to hear about them.

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