Thursday, May 9, 2013

Creepy Ginormous Spiders and Donating Blood and Organs, Which Have Nothing to Do With Each Other

So the spider that was crawling on my bedroom wall this morning looked a little bit like this guy. In the past four years I have lived where I live with an open field behind me, I have seen like 6 or 7 of these in my house. I don't know if it's a grass or wolf spider but both are to be found in Northern California. I went wolf because this one most looks like my friend this morning. 

Genus Creepus McCreepersoneris
photo credit:

To emphasize, I did not know that spiders this big ever showed up in houses until 4 years ago. I'm almost 43. The first time I saw one I think I pissed myself and had a small heart attack. I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, I want to know how much good spider karma I get because I caught him using the Red Solo cup/paper plate method and set him free in my backyard. So that possibly, his bleeping furry scary ass will just crawl back into my house.

the actual Red Solo cup and Dixie paper plate used this morning

Also earlier this week I awoke with what I am pretty sure is a spider bite on the side of my face. I am going to assume there was nothing as big as this guy on my face as that will give me a large heart attack. But even though one of his brethren bit me I still saved this sucker's life.

It occurs to me right now that I killed a spider on my dining room wall last night. He was much smaller than this guy. So maybe all I've done was cancel out that karma. I am truly in Spiderville, USA. And I see spiders all the time that I just let be. So hopefully it all balances out somehow.

Well, I know how I DID earn some good karma yesterday, I donated blood! I am not sure if I have talked about this before but what a super easy way for a lazy person to contribute to the world. Go somewhere and lay down and let them stick a needle in you and take some of your spare blood. And THEN your lazy ass might just save a life! Like, for serious!!!!

I have a blood donation center about 22 minutes away from me (no, it's not 20 minutes and it's not 25, it really is like 22 minutes away with no traffic), so it's easy for me to just make an appointment (you can do it online) and show up and yesterday I discovered that practically across the street is a delicious spot for burritos so that just like, made this an even more rewarding enterprise for me. 

I did the double donation, but I can do that because I'm large. Seriously, you have to be like at least 5'5' or 5'6" if you're a woman and weigh at least 175 lbs. Super check and major check on those. So that one takes longer but I only go 3 times a year because I do that. And it makes you a little tired and junk if you do that (well, at least it makes me a little tired, which is supposed to be normal), but it's totally worth it. But obviously doing regular donation is OUTSTANDING. Like, seriously, it's so easy. The longest part is just the set-up because they have to ask you the questions and make sure your blood is fit to give and stuff because they don't want junk ass blood.

But seriously, please consider doing this. And then you get to have all the free juice and cookies you want! I mean, if you took the basket of cookies off the table and dumped it into your purse they would probably not really like that, but you know what I mean. 

Look how happy this guy is, all thumbs-upping and whatnot. Get some of that.
photo credit:

Check out all the info here.

You will seriously walk out of there feeling like a badass and a hero and junk. Seriously. One time they gave me a t-shirt! But t-shirt or not, I like that I might have helped save a life. Because really, when else am I gonna get a chance to do that? Like, never.

And oooooooooo, I almost forgot to tell you, they be LOVIN' my blood because I'm half African-American, and apparently since sickle cell is often associated with black folks and there is an increased chance of blood transfusions working when the blood is genetically similar, there is always a huge need for black folks to give up some of the red. You can read about that stuff here. Also you might find out you have a blood type that is sort of rare (I do) and then that makes them even that more super excited to see you when you show up!

While we're on the topic of saving lives, here is my PSA for donating organs. DO IT. I don't know about you, but I'm not using mine when I expire. If I have not destroyed them all with fatty foods and drunken debauchery they can have them, seriously. I don't really have to explain how amazing it would be if you saved like 5 lives if you kicked the bucket, do I? I mean look, no one wants to talk about kicking the bucket.  Because it really sucks. Were it up to me, I would live forever, continuously boring you with the randomness in my head via this blog. But it ain't fixin' to go down like that so you know, let them take the stuff they can use!! 

You can learn about all about saving lives and organ donation here.

Okay. I told you guys about my spider and blood and organs. My work here is done. Back to coffee and doing a lot of nothing. I hope you all are having a great week and collecting a bunch of good karma!

1 comment:

Kimberly Gallagher-Wright said...

And now I want to donate blood...thanks chica...AND, if memory serves it's close to my other maintenance lugar...Bonus!

I love you!