Wednesday, July 10, 2013

It's Hard to Not Take Things Personally When People Are F$%king Jerks To You

It really is.

Because if someone is being a jerk to you, even if you know they're a jerk of the highest order, then you're still going to be like, "What am I doing that is making them a be a jerk? Why are they being a jerk to ME?"

Which, in all honesty, is a good question. You want to first make sure that YOU'RE not being a jerk. I mean, even if you're not a jerk, it's a totally good idea to check yourself and make sure you haven't made some sort of jerk move that is inciting beef jerkiness in the other person.

Once you've assessed your jerk level and find that your setting is zero, or even like, a negative number on the scale, then you're back to wondering why is this person jerking out all over ME?

Well. The answer is, sometimes people are jerks. Just like, to almost everyone. And even if they're not being a jerk to everyone, and they are hardcore jerked up when it comes to you, it STILL doesn't mean it's you.

Famous Jerk: Justin Bieber
photo credit:

Whew. What a relief, right? Now you can just go on about your business with a big smile on your face and it's all good in the 'hood and birds are chirping and the sun is shining and all that business, right?


Well, that is how it should be. But getting there is a sonofabitch. Like, I'm sorry. I'm finding that part hard.

Before I go on, let me be clear about something. For the purposes of this post I'm talking about people with whom you are forced to deal; they work with you and you love your job or they're like in your family or some s$%t like that. Because if you know a jerk and you are NOT forced to deal with them, then you can just tell them to go f$%k themselves and call it a day. So I'm just talking about situations where the lovely phrase, "Go f$%k yourself" is not an option.

Karate Kid Jerk: Billy Zabka
photo credit: entertainment.blogs.

Once you figure out that this person is just a jerk and possibly going to always be that way, then there should be this process of letting go. Oh, and I forgot, let's rule out this idea that you can fix their jerkiness, or save them from a life of jerky pot pie. Let's say you've even tried to help them see the light and get on the path to leading a jerk-free life and that just didn't work. Hey, you tried. And it was probably stupid of you to try because especially when we're dealing with grown ass folks, they're probably already set personality-ararily. I mean, aside from a soap opera style deal where they fall off a bridge and survive but have amnesia and wake up with a totally different personality, probably nothing is going to change. So just like, let that dream go. They're not gonna change. So who has to change? YOU HAVE TO CHANGE.

And that's the hard part. You have to change how you react to these jerks in your life.

It's that Buddhist thing all over again, wasn't I just talking about that not long ago? That whole idea of suffering and how it is not the THING, it's how YOU react to the thing? Yes, it's THAT.

But it doesn't mean it's easy. That's what I'm saying. And that's why I'm writing this. Because telling you guys it should be like that will remind me that it should be like that and then what do you know, I just wrote myself into some more peace. WOO HOO!!!

So how you get to that spot of changing how you react, that's going to vary. I'm obviously no expert when it comes to that part. I do find that for me, writing helps. Writing down all the things that you can't say because it's futile is a great way to vent. Talking to your friends, the ones who are NOT jerks, about the Jerkface Jerry in your life, that helps. But not too much, because then we are giving that guy time in our lives, time better spent hugging and loving on people and frolicking and feeling peace and chilling and SMILING.

Back to the Future Jerk: Biff Tannen
photo credit:

Because see, we have the ability to smile a whole bunch. While Jimmy Jerkface III probably is not smiling so much. And never will. And all the time we spend not smiling on account of that guy is a waste of smile time!!!

Because dude's a jerk. And jerks pretty much do not change their jerk stripes. And if you're a person who is hopeful about humans the way I am, that one is HARD. That is a bitter pill to swallow. But the good news is that once you get that and decide that you don't have to let these people affect you, then you'e cooking with gas.

Superman II Jerk: General Zod
photo credit:

Don't get me wrong. I'm not like Shifu from Kung Fu Panda and all master-level with my jerk force field impervious to dings and stuff. Like, no way. I'm still going to even CRY sometimes because I'm not only human, I'm a human girl and I'm all sensitive and stuff and don't forget I'm chock full of hormones like a mothereffer. But I'm going to try, because damn it, I LIKE TO SMILE!

I also don't think it makes you a bad person if you believe in karma. That whole we reap what we sow thing.

Yes, that. It's okay to think that. As long as you're smiling when you do.

Go frolic! And eff those jerks!

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